


Dinobots

by Luki



Category: Transformers (Bay Movies)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-01
Updated: 2012-03-01
Packaged: 2017-10-31 23:34:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/349548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Luki/pseuds/Luki
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An ex-Sector Seven Scientist steals a prototype weapon and hides it within a travelling exhibit.  Will and Sam try to intervene, and end up with 5 new Autobots on their hands.  If Mission City wasn't bad enough, how are they supposed to cover this one up?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

After reading the little information sign in front of the Stegosaurus for the fifteenth time, Sam was starting to regret this ‘request’ of Simmons.

“Will, how much longer are we going to have to stand here?”

The man grinned and slung an arm around the boys shoulder.

“Hey come on Sam. Don’t tell me you don’t like dinosaurs?”

Sam glared up at him, and then looked about the room. ‘Dino World’ was a touring attraction, made to ‘delight and entertain people of all ages’ with its ‘realistic and incredible animatronics that will make you gasp.’ It consisted of several rooms filled with animatronic dinosaurs, all with their own little information signs in so-easy-a-child-can-read-it text. If he was five, he would have been in heaven. As it was, he was giving up a date with Mikaela for this.

“We’ve been two hours Will. Is Simmon’s even sure he’s-“

Just then, the hidden receivers both wore in their ears crackled to life, and Simmons’s voice hissed into life.

“Okay, Arkeville just showed up at the door but he doesn’t have the device on him, according to the overgrown tin can I’m sitting in.”

Ironhide’s voice broke in. “Are you trying to become a smear on the pavement human?”

Will winced. He wasn’t sure he wanted to know what idiot had decided Ironhide should be the liaison for this operation. Ironhide was trigger happy and really big on finding loopholes in the ‘no harm’ rule, and Simmons refused to respect the Autobots and seemed to take delight in seeing how far he could push them. One of them was going to require a medic by the end of the day.

“Wait” Sam interrupted. “If he doesn’t have it, then where is it?”

“He must have hidden it somewhere in the building” Simmons replied. “Given that he’s in charge of night security it wouldn’t be difficult. Supposedly he’s meeting his contact in the next couple of hours so get it now before he decides to test it out. The last thing we need is a re-enactment of Jurassic Park.”

After studying the photograph repeatedly during the day, Will recognised Arkeville instantly, despite coming in with a crowd of people, obviously noticeable due to the lack of child. He headed after him, Sam not far behind.

\- - -

It shouldn’t have really surprised them that Sector Seven had considered the Allspark’s life-giving capabilities in war situations. Really, if Megatron had given them lasers, tanks, missiles, surely they could pry something out of their crown jewel? And managing to turn the enemies own machinery into lethal weapons that would kill and destroy was nothing to be sneezed at.   
However, there was issues with that. For example, once your enemies were destroyed, you found yourself facing an army of killer robots that would probably be an even bigger problem. But the biggest issue was actually bringing the machines to life. The cube had to be in close proximity, and you couldn’t exactly just take the Allspark away to do that. The thing wasn’t to budged back then.

So the scientists at Sector Seven had done what they did best. Experimented with all the tact of a child with a gun, and come up with something both ingenious and horrific. Cube radiation locked within a box created from a special alloy that could just about imitate the same density and strength of Megatron’s own armour. Safe to handle, easy to transport, and once opened…would unleash a wave of energy that would create a new mechanical ‘big bang’.

Thankfully, it had never been tested, the Autobots and Decepticons arriving before they could figure out a way to stop the robots once they were created, but when the Allspark was destroyed, and Sector Seven was disbanded, one scientist was less than happy about the situation, and had replaced the ‘Demi-spark’ as it had been dubbed, with a fake. By the time anyone had realised the switch, Arkeville had vanished.

It had taken months, but Simmons and Banachek, now working for another department of government (newly designed to help deal with extraterrestrial that would no doubt be coming within the next few years) had tracked him down, working behind the scenes of this travelling exhibit. But knowing that Arkeville would recognise them on sight, and with the recent Autobot/Human treaties that had been signed, they needed someone else to apprehend him, and required an Autobot liaison for any events that had to do with the Allspark. Will was brought along to actually get the guy, and Sam was there to draw attention away from the older man. Ironhide had all but insisted he be the one to go with them, should the scientist get wise and try to bolt through the car park.

\- - -

Making sure to stay within the crowds, Will and Sam watched as Arkeville slipped into an Employee Only area.

“Okay” Will started. “Sam, you wait here, I’m going after him. If he gets past me, see if you can’t stop him.”

“How?”

Will shrugged. “Trip him up? Yell thief? You’ll think of something.”

The Captain headed for the door, and Sam busied himself by staring at the Stegosaurus that was chewing the cud and shaking its head in regular intervals. There was a little boy, about seven years old practically glued to the edge of the display, and holding a handheld console limp in his hand.

“You like dinosaurs kid?” Sam asked, looking for anything that would keep him from reading the damn information sign again.

The boy nodded, not bothering to turn around. “They’re awesome. Wish they were alive. I’d get one to eat my teacher.”

\- - -

For all the trouble it had been to find Arkeville, he’d really become lax since he’d settled down in the Dino World tour. Despite looking behind him several times, he never noticed Lennox following him. He finally stopped by a set of lockers, and pulled out a silver box with a complex keypad on the front.

“You are going to make me a very, very rich man” he purred. “Idiots had no idea what they had.”

“Can’t disagree with you on that.”

Arkeville flung himself round to see Will staring at him, gun pointed at the ex-scientists chest. 

“Now lets not make this difficult all right?” Will began. “Now, hand over the box and follow me outside. Nice, quick, simple, and nobody gets hurt.”

If looks could only kill, Arkeville would have had Will dead on the floor. Slowly, his hand with the box reached out, allowing the Captain to take it.

“Good, now lets go.”

\- - -

“Witwicky, what’s the status?”

“I don’t know Simmons, Will hasn’t…wait, there he is.”

Sam sighed in relief as the Captain appeared the door, cube in his hand, and a rather peeved off scientist by his side, his hand placed suspiciously on the mans back, probably hiding a weapon.

“Will has the Demi-cube and Arkeville, and he’s heading out.”

The crackle that followed had to be both the Sector Seven agent and the truck breathing collective sighs of relief.

“Looks like my weekend isn’t a waste after – Aw crap!”

A security guard, probably someone who knew Arkeville, had just stopped Will and Arkeville. The hand on Arkeville’s back lowered slightly, and the momentary distraction was all the scientist needed.

He rammed his elbow into Will’s stomach, surprising the Captain, and grabbed the cube now in loose fingers before bolting into the crowd.

“Witwicky? Witwicky!” Simmons screeched into the earpiece.

“Sam? What’s the situation?”

Sam ignored them, pushing past people and heading for the man who was coming in his direction.

“Can’t talk right now guys!”

Sam knew painfully well that he wasn’t exactly a football star, but Arkeville wasn’t exactly built like one either. And getting rammed into teenager running at high speed was enough to send anyone to the ground. The scientist and teen crashed to the laminated floor, and the Demi-cube slipped out of Arkeville’s hands, skidding past peoples feet and kicked next to the stand with the Stegosaurus, right next to the boy Sam had just been talking to. It made a ‘clinking’ sound as it fell by the display, and the boy, like any child in the vicinity of something shiny, picked it up.

“What’s this?”

The top had come slightly loose in its fall, and there was some kind of dial on the top. He twisted it experimentally, only to jerk back and drop it loose as blue energy crackled from within, twisting and arching around him. 

A few people screamed, noticing their watches and mobiles ripping themselves from their owners and falling to the ground, while the boy watched the energy descend upon the mechanical dinosaur. It immediately jerked its head up, and looked about the room, before storming off the stand and forcing the crowd (who had already been bolting for the doors) to move out of his way with a screech.

The boy, frozen by the now empty display, slowly closed his open jaw, and looked back at the cube.

“Cool!”

\- - -

Will caught up with Sam and Arkeville, jerking the scientist to his feet as Simmons, clearly displeased at the lack of information he was getting, ran into the room just in time to see the first wave of new living machines. He stormed up to Will and Sam, and pulled out a pair of cuffs for Arkeville.

“Thanks a lot Doctor!” he snapped. “Do you know how hard it is to get rid of watch-bots? They’re like cockroaches!”

Arkeville was about to reply, no doubt by snarling some irritated curse, when the metallic scream drowned out anything they could have said. All four swung round, paling at the dinosaur now heading for the exit.

“Oh no…”

“How in the world are we supposed to cover THAT up?” Simmons screamed in horror, while the remaining earpiece shrieked.

“Will somebody PLEASE tell me what’s going on before I come in there to find out myself!”

The room was almost empty now, everyone bolting for the exit doors. From the echoing screams and the alarms going off, it was safe to say the rest of the place was being evacuated as well. With the room so sparse, it was easy to notice one thing out of place.

“Where’s the Demi-cube?” Will yelled, forcing everyone’s attention off the Stegosaurus (who had apparently decided that he liked this form enough to not bother transforming) that was also crashing towards the exit doors.

“It must have landed by the Spike over there if it woke him up” Simmons snapped.

But Arkeville shook his head. “Even if it fell, there’s no way it could have activated without human interference.”

Sam had a very bad feeling about this. “Aw man…there was a kid by that robot. Said he wished they were real. You don’t think…”

He trailed off as they heard yet another roar coming from a nearby room, and several stomping sounds that could only be the footfalls of something very large.

Will checked his earpiece. “Ironhide, I don’t suppose you found a way into this building?”

“That’s not me Captain. I suggest you find out who it is.”

“I’m pretty sure it came from the Tyrannosaurus room” Arkeville murmured.

“Gentlemen” Simmons began. “Find that kid. BEFORE he lets this prehistoric zoo out into Tranquillity!”

\- - -

It only took fifteen minutes to track down the boy, and pry the cube from his hands. Unfortunately, by that time he’d used up all the energy within it, and brought a further 3 displays to life. All of which were apparently claustrophobic given the amount of walls they broke down. That said, they’d almost believed they’d get away with minimal damage for once.

And then the Triceratops discovered he came with a flamethrower…

Things went downhill from there.

\- - -

“Ironhide, did you HAVE to level the building?”

“Optimus, it was coming down whether I smashed into it or not. With the amount of property damage the five yahoos did, there was no way it was structurally sound anymore.”

Sam sighed, and turned to look at the five dinosaurs standing in the parking lot staring at the Autobots, their fake skin turning a sickly orange under the lamp posts light.

When Ironhide heard the amount of damage the newest Cybertronians were doing, he’d contacted Optimus and the others, requesting backup, and had crashed into the building to deal with the issue. The ‘Dinobots’ as Will had so cheerily dubbed them, had immediately discovered the joys of transformation after Ironhide had intervened, and dog piled him with that single mindedness all Earth spark creations seemed to have. However, Ironhide had far more knowledge of battle than the newly sparked dinosaurs, and had easily held them off until his three allies appeared. However, even with reinforcements, the five hadn’t gone down fast, and it was only after Ratchet discovered that they could talk (after giving a rather vicious blow to the Pteradon, only to have it ask him not to kill him), that they’d managed to stop the minor battle and end it without deactivation.

And now, they had five ‘Dino-bots’, who seemed to have suppressed that immediate ‘attack anything in site’ instinct that the watches and mobiles (all of which were now dead or ‘quarantined’) had, and nobody seemed to be sure what to do with them. 

Everyone except Simmons. He’d bent over backwards to quarantine the area so that the Autobots could come in, and so nobody would spot the animatronics suddenly coming to life. Now, all he wanted was to destroy them like they did all the other bots created on earth, to make sure it never happened again.

Optimus however, had a different opinion.

“We will take them in. They are clearly not as single minded as the other machines created on this planet, or else they would not have stopped fighting, regardless of their odds. With time, perhaps we can remove that desire entirely.”

Simmons argued of course, though even he knew it was a lost cause. Secretary Keller always sided with Optimus when it came to things like this. It was starting to get irritating. 

“Listen Prime, its one thing to have robots disguised as cars, but they’re DINOSAURS! That’s not exactly hiding! Where are you going to keep them? If they get off your base-“

“We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it Simmons, but we will take full responsibility for their care and integration.”

\- - -

Meanwhile, a distance from Optimus and the arguing Sector Seven agent, Will leaned on Ratchet’s leg, favouring the right after a rather vicious fall earlier, while Sam sat on the Camaro’s shoulder, discussing names.

“We cannot call him Slag!” the Scout yelled.

“I know it’s a curse word for you guys, but he really, really likes ‘Slag’” the boy explained. 

Will laughed. “Blame Ironhide, he’s the one that kept yelling it at him.”

Ratchet just groaned.

“Are you sure he wouldn’t prefer ‘Spike?’”

“Yes!”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ratchet repairs the Dinobots, and gets to know them a little better.

“That should do the trick,” Ratchet began, putting down the last of his tools before turning to face his most recent patient. “How does that feel? Think you can get into the air now?”

The Pteranodon, currently in his robot mode, leapt to his feet and spread out the large wings, grinning at the metallic structures. The was a quiet humming in the air as his newly fitted thrusters began to charge, and the small Dinobot leapt into the air, flying in circles around the medic.

“Ratchet do good job!” he squawked, switching to his alternate mode mid-flight with only the slightest jerk in balance and perching on the medic’s shoulder. He didn’t have much in terms of height, even out of his dinosaur form; he was barely a head taller than Mikaela.

“Glad one of you appreciates my work,” Ratchet replied. “Go master them outside and tell that brute with all the teeth that it’s his turn.”

The Dinobot nodded, and swooped off again, flying rather low through the door.

“And think of a name while you’re out there!” Ratchet yelled after him.

\- - -

It hadn’t taken long for the Dinobots to ‘wear out’ their welcome at the Autobot’s base. One night after taking them in and Optimus himself was already beginning to wonder if Simmons might have had a point.

They were large, they were surprisingly dumb, and the reins they had on their tempers made Ironhide look like the Autobot equivalent of the human called ‘Ghandi’. Within hours of being asked or ordered to remain in one room until better accommodations could be made, they had begun fighting with themselves. 

And it turned out that, as strong as they were as Cybertronians, the strength had apparently skipped their false shells. The fake skin and scales and paint, already in a bad way from the earlier fight, hadn’t stood a chance. 

Damages to the room aside, Ratchet thought this might be a positive thing. If they were little more than protoforms without the shells, they could switch to less… _obvious_ camouflage. 

…Only he’d discovered that not one of the Dinobots seemed to come with that function. At all. His own searches couldn’t even hunt down the scanner required for the function in the processors. Until he managed to design new parts for them, they were dinosaurs. 

Of course, without the flesh-like shells, many of their own systems were far too defenceless. When they’d inevitably started fighting again, Slag (currently the only one to have come up with a designation for himself) had ended up with a trip to the med bay, courtesy of the T-Rex, while the pteranodon had hidden in the corner in robot form, his wings torn and mangled to shreds.

Nobody had gotten much of a recharge that night, and Ratchet had soon found himself wishing for more medical help when it became clear he was going to have to come up with new armour for them all. Instead, he got Ironhide, Bumblebee, as much metal from the local scrap yard as they could carry, and having to spend several hours trying to mould metal into the necessary shapes. 

Slag, given that he was in the worst shape, was the first to get the ‘upgrade’, but immediately went searching for the T-rex with the intent of returning the favour. Ironhide had quickly put a stop to that and landed the Triceratops back into the med bay once again, taking up time remaining in the hummer’s first day. Ratchet hadn’t found the willpower to bring him back online just yet.

Next morning had been the brontosaurus’ turn. He was easily as large as Optimus in his robot mode, and not completely aware of his own size. Even when he was trying to behave he would end up bashing against a wall, completely on accident. Ratchet had a feeling his processor ran a little slower than the other Dinobots’, but that would hopefully pan out once he got used to being ‘sentient.’

“I don’t know how much you’ll listen to me, but try to stay out of trouble. And watch your step, you’re large enough to be a genuine threat to Sam and Mikaela.” 

The Dinobot nodded. “Sludge will be careful.”

“Good. Then…wait… _Sludge?_ ” 

‘Sludge’ nodded. “Knocked over Ironhide earlier, and he say I must have sludge in my processor. So I am Sludge.” 

Ratchet’s hands clenched into fists. “Excuse me a moment.” He stormed out the door.

“ **Ironhide!** ” 

\- - - 

One furious Topkick with a deactivated vocal processor later, Ratchet finished on Sludge and took a few moments to recover. Optimus didn’t quite understand the need to turn Ironhide into a mute (though Bumblebee and Sam were finding it hilarious), but relented when Ratchet insisted it was necessary if they didn’t want one of the remaining Dinobots calling themselves ‘Glitch’. 

However, he needn’t have worried about the Stegosaurus learning anything from the weapon’s specialist. The plated dinosaur stormed in with a scowl, pulled himself onto a berth, and glared at the medic.

“I am Snarl.”

And he refused to say another word throughout the upgrade.

\- - - 

By this point, the Pteranodon had been without wings for two days, and Ratchet felt somewhat guilty about leaving the small being alone for so long. However, the flier had needed more than just an armour upgrade: he had needed additions. Once the metal plating was in place, and the Dinobot had a new pair of wings, he’d be too heavy to get into the air. To be honest, Ratchet was **still** trying to figure out how the original form had pulled it off. He needed thrusters, and Ratchet had needed some time to track down the materials.

Once he finally had the winged Cybertronian in the med bay, however, he’d been pleasantly surprised. He was fascinated by the procedures Ratchet used, and constantly asked what everything did. At first, Ratchet had been humouring him, until he had realised that the Dinobot was actually taking in what he said, rather than asking just for the sake of it. It showed a sense of curiosity and intelligence the others had lacked. 

As the Dinobot flew out, he made a note to mention this to Optimus. The flier might actually have a future as a medic or a tactician, if he was given the chance to learn. They might all have that capability, hidden inside behind the simple rage.

Heavy footsteps reached his door, and it slammed open as the T-rex swaggered in, eyes locking onto the medic.

“You medic work on Grimlock now?”

“Grim…lock?”

It was a frightening thing to see a T-rex try to grin. 

“Squishy boy says it suits Grimlock,” he replied. “Now make Grimlock stronger so Slag can wake up and be pounded again!”

Or maybe it was just the Pteranodon with potential…


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Swoop tests out his wings, and Ironhide shows off his Bumblebee impression

As he leaned back on a blanket on the ground, Mikaela by his side, and watched the Pteranadon perform a graceful arc in the air, Sam couldn’t help but think that the Dinobots were more like teenagers than Autobots.

It hadn’t taken him long to decide that this was the best way to describe the Autobots newest clique. Ironhide just preferred to call them insane, while Bumblebee always came down with another case of ‘vocal damage’ whenever asked. Ratchet almost seemed to…well, like them, in that long-suffering way he had down pat. Sam couldn’t help but wonder if he merely preferred having new members of their race around, or if it was a scientific curiosity that kept him civil.

From what he and Mikaela could gather, the Autobots were somewhat at a loss on how to handle them. They had promised Simmons that they’d take responsibility, but they were starting to wonder just what that entailed. 

According to Ratchet, the Dinobots were unique. Their systems didn’t appear to be fully matured, but they could never be called sparkling’s. Instead they were a strange, indescribable mesh of both, which resulted in behaviour patterns, actions and thoughts that the Autobots could never predict, and after researching the behaviour patterns online, Optimus had agreed with Sam. The spark rage that all earth machines possessed seemed to be a frighteningly good substitute for testosterone, and their young, influential minds resulted in stupid decisions, and, if the last couple of days were anything to go by, very large repair bills. They were like human teenagers. Large, robotic, cooped up, exceptionally charged teenagers.

“He does seem to be enjoying himself doesn’t he?”

Sam broke out of his musings and grinned, looking up at Bumblebee’s face. The Scout was on his other side, watching the Dinobot dance in the sky with amusement.

“I’ve often wondered what it is about flying that makes those with wings love it so much.”

The Pteranodon gave out a delighted cry and fired up his thrusters, shooting him up higher, bringing out a low whistle from Sam.

“Wish I could do that.”

Bumblebee shuddered. “Your race evolved to live on land Sam, so why do they have this obsession with the sky?”

Sam mock glared at the Autobot. “You were admiring him just a moment ago.”

“Boys behave” Mikaela chided, lifting an arm over Sam’s shoulders. “Its just the way humans are Bumblebee. Tell us we can’t do something and we’ll do everything in our power to convince you otherwise.”

Almost immediately after the words left her mouth, the air was filled with the sound of music.

_“And if your heart stops beating, I'll be here wondering, did you get what you deserved?”_

The teens swung to look at Bumblebee, who in turn looked behind him to see a black Topkick pulling up behind them.

“Ironhide, My Chemical Romance?” Sam asked. “That was the best you could come up with?”

The radio picked up again.

_“I hate the world, I hate the world, I hate the world and I hate you too”_

Bumblebee turned away again, but everyone with eyes or optics could see him shaking, trying and failing to hold back his laughter. Ironhide’s engine revved in anger, but he didn’t leave.

“So how are they fitting in?” Mikaela said, starting up the conversation again. “That’s them all fully repaired and upgraded now right?”

Bumblebee nodded. “Yes, but that was the easy part. Now we have to teach them what it is to be a Cybertronian.”

_“Oooh, but it's easier said than done.”_

Sam snickered. “You know, Bumblebee can do the whole talking-through-the-radio thing and pull it off. But it just doesn’t work for you Ironhide.”

The Topkick’s engine revved up again, joined by _“Ready, ready, ready, ready...ready to run.”_

“Oh, I **know** you did not just play Dixie Chicks.”

Mikaela bit her lip. “Try to keep away from the female singers at least. For your own sake.”

Ironhide fell silent once again, no doubt trying to find a lyric or quote through his radio to fully express his frustration, and wondering how on Primus Bumblebee had lasted so long without a vocal processor.

“Looks like he’s finally coming back down” Bumblebee mused, and all heads turned to see the Pteranodon, clearly lowering his altitude and heading towards them.

“So how are you going to ‘teach them to be Cybertronian?” Sam asked. “I mean, Ratchet isn’t even willing to let Slag come out of stasis yet.”

The Camaro sighed. “I don’t know Sam. I think even Optimus has doubts on whether or not it’s possible. They are so…infantile, I think that’s an apt phrase. It will all depend on how capable they are with learning. But we have to try, or your Government will insist on their deactivation.”

Mikaela frowned. “But I thought Keller gave you permission to take them in?”

“Only so long as we can keep them under control” Bumblebee explained. “There are some-“

Sam coughed a sound frighteningly close to the name ‘Simmons’.

“Some who think they can’t, and will eventually revert to mindless killers. They intend to keep an eye on the Dinobots for the next several months, and one slip up may force us to give them up.”

However, judging from the narrowed eyes of the Scout, and the obvious tenseness in Ironhide’s frame, they didn’t intend on that ‘slip up’ ever happening, no matter what the Dinobots threw at them.

The Scout looked as if he could have continued, but stopped when a powerful burst of air shot overhead, and the Pteranodon flew over, transforming as he landed on the Ironhide's roof. Unable to find a lyric, Ironhide settled on honking his horn until the Dinobot jumped off.

“How are the upgrades?” Bumblebee asked, and the Pteranodon danced slightly, a grin on his face.

“Ratchet fix me good!” he replied, twitching his wings before folding them back down. “And me pick name while flying. Me good at swooping, so me be Swoop!”

Sam smiled. “Swoop huh? That’s not bad.”

Mikaela started ticking them off on her fingers. “So, now we’ve got a Swoop, Snarl, Sludge, Slag, and a Grimlock…trust the T-rex to be different.”

Swoop tilted his head in confusion. “Grim…lock? What does that mean?”

Sam winced, and Bumblebee gave a nervous laugh at the memory. “It’s a long story.”

“Involving trying to explain the concept of death using the Grim Reaper and a little too close a look at Grimlock's jaw” Mikaela muttered.

“I said I was sorry about that!” Sam whined. 

Swoop just looked even more confused, and Bumblebee shook his head.

“Trust me, its better not to ask. Why don’t you find Sludge? He’s only had Snarl for company for the last few hours. Poor mech must be miserable.”

“Okay. Me Swoop do that.”

As Swoop jumped into the air, clearly not yet tired of being able to fly again, Ironhide’s own engine kicked into gear, and dirt spun under his tyres as he headed for the base.

“Where’s he going?” Sam asked.

“Well, Ratchet deactivated his vocal processor because he was afraid that Ironhide would unexpectedly ‘name’ one of them again” Bumblebee explained. “And now that they all have designations, I think he’s ready to give me back my gimmick.”

\---

Ratchet on the other hand, was perfectly content to let Ironhide stay mute for a little while longer.

“I’ve appreciated the peace and quiet” he explained, not bothering to look at the Topkick as he welded the final piece of Grimlock’s new armour to his frame. “Perhaps this incident will make you watch your language, especially around impressionable minds.”

_“Give me a voice so strong, I can question what I have seen.”_

Ratchets legs buckled as he heard the music, and he turned to look at the weapons specialist, whose arms were crossed and optics were glaring at the medic.

“You really must be desperate.”

A glimmer of hope entered Ironhide’s optics, only to vanish when the medic turned his back on him once again. “But still no. I’ll reactivate it tomorrow.”

Ratchet ignored the engine revving angrily, and finished with his patient.

“You can get up now, but can you please try not to send anyone in here, at least for a few days?”

Grimlock sat up, and flexed his hands experimentally. “Grimlock feel good. Stronger.”

“You should” Ratchet said. “I’ve had to replace nearly all of your outer frame. Just be grateful I had the materials.”

The Dinobot’s optics swung round the room and locked on Slag. “What about him? Me Grimlock need to fight him again.”

“No!” Ratchet snapped, heading towards the Triceratops. “No more fighting! I am reactivating him, and the two of you are going to act like civilised mechs and go to your quarters even if I have to drag the two of you there myself!”

He seemed to have placated the T-rex, as he didn’t move from his post, and Ratchet soon had Slag’s optics lighting up.

“Slag, I’ve reactivated you, but you will go to your quarters peacefully and **without fighting** this time. I’m in no mood to have to fix you again.”

The triceratops glared at the medic, but was off the table and on his feet without a complaint. Grimlock soon followed, and the two headed towards the door without looking at each other.

Ratchet almost allowed himself to believe they’d listened to him, when both reached the door at the same time, and neither was willing to move.

“You get out of Grimlock’s way!” Grimlock snapped.

“Slag here first! Slag say Grimlock move!”

Gimlock roared and threw a punch, which Slag avoided and sent a burst of flames towards the larger Dinobot. Within seconds the two were on one another, hissing and growling as metal crashed against metal.

“What did I just say!” Ratchet screeched, and swung his head in Ironhide’s direction.

“Aren’t you going to stop them?”

Ironhide just smirked, and Ratchet found himself hitting his head against the table Slag had been lying on.

“Fine. I’ll reactivate your vocal processor. Just get them out of my med bay before they break something!”

The Topkick grinned, and leapt into the fray, leaving the medic to continue hitting his head, and wonder if he would ever truly know ‘peace and quiet’ again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Black Parade – Dead! : “And if your heart stops beating, I'll be here wondering, did you get what you deserved?”
> 
> American Heartbeat – Condemned: “I hate the world, I hate the world, I hate the world and I hate you too”
> 
> Shakatak - Easier Said Than Done: “Oooh, but it's easier said than done”
> 
> Dixie Chicks – Ready to Run: “Ready, ready, ready, ready...ready to run.”
> 
> REM - Around The Sun: “Give me a voice so strong, I can question what I have seen.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Dinobots learn about Politics.

When Ratchet contacted Optimus and requested (demanded) that he visit the med bay, the Autobot leader was already bracing himself for the medic's temper. He was pretty sure he knew what this was about.

And, unfortunately, he was right.

"I have **had** it, Prime!"

Ratchet slammed one of his tools onto the berth, looking as if he wanted to throw it out the window.

"This has gone on long enough. The Dinobots have been here two months now, and they've spent the majority that time offline in my med bay! And, whenever they're not here, they're busy pummelling each other in order to **send** themselves back to the med bay. I can't take it any more!"

"Ratchet," Optimus tried to plead. "Nobody is saying that having the Dinobots here isn't an adjustmen-"

"Optimus," Ratchet snapped. "Yesterday Snarl walked in here carrying his own head! Do you have any idea how much work goes into fixing that sort of damage?"

Technically, Snarl hadn't walked in so much as Grimlock had carried his non-functioning body over to the berth, but Optimus wasn't about to correct his medic when he was in this kind of mood.

Suddenly, Ratchet swung round and stormed right up to Optimus, looking up his leaders face with an expression that would have made Megatron take a step back.

"I'm serious Optimus," he warned. "You have to find a way to make them get along. For their own sakes as well as my sanity!"

\---

Sam gave a low whistle after hearing the earlier events. "Man, Ratchet's really ticked off, huh?"

"'Ticked off' is an understatement," Bumblebee replied. "I can't really say I blame him, though. He's barely had any time to himself thanks to their injuries. All he needs are a few uninterrupted days to calm down."

As if to mock them, a roar echoed through the hallway, followed by the clanging of metal coming from the Dinobots quarters.

"And the chances of getting the Dinobots to stop taking chunks out of each other are…?" Mikaela asked, sighing at the racket the three were heading towards.

"About the same as getting Ironhide to take his cannons offline for the day," Bumblebee answered, reaching the door to the Dinobot quarters. "But we have to try."

Just as he reached for the lock, the hall was filled with the clashing of metal on metal, and the door buckled outward, just masking Sam's panicked yelp as he jerked back.

"Maybe we should come back later…"

Bumblebee sighed, and opened the door. It gave a rather vicious shriek due to the resistance of the warped metal, but opened just the same.

However, blocking their way was Slag in his triceratops mode. He was clambering back to his feet, clearly having been the one thrown into the door. Standing directly opposite him was Grimlock, who was being hugged by Sludge in a clear attempt to keep him away from Slag. Snarl was sitting in the corner watching the exchange, while Swoop leaned the stegosaurus' side. Both were favouring a side of their body which betrayed minor damage. Judging from the expressions focused on Slag, however, they were interested in returning the favour.

"Oh, come on!" Sam whined. "Didn't Ratchet just fix Snarl?"

Bumblebee sighed. This was typical of them. Slag and Grimlock always seemed to cause most of the headaches. Both could give Ironhide a run for his money on lust for destruction and refused to get along. They caused most of the injuries to the other three and seemed to require fights to the death the same way Sam's pet Mojo needed to mark his territory. Snarl wasn't too much trouble on his own – he was yet to start a fight – but never refrained from joining in once all of the other four were involved.

Sludge and Swoop were probably the easiest to handle. Both definitely had the more inclination to stay out of trouble, but often found it necessary to try and break up the fighting…by joining in – and usually getting maimed in the process. And, once armour was dented, they abandoned all pretence and went straight for the weak points.

Sam's complaint, however, distracted all of the metal behemoths, and both Sam and Mikaela took a step back as five sets of glowing eyes focused on them.

"You squishies and you Buzz bot leave," Slag growled. "Us Dinobots busy!"

Bumblebee ignored the questioning stares from the humans at his new 'nickname' and stepped forward.

"That's what we need to talk about," he began. "You're driving Ratchet to an early offline, so we'd really appreciate it if you'd calm down, at least for a few days."

Grimlock used the lull to break away from Sludge, and smirked at the Camaro.

"Me Grimlock be happy to, so long as him Slag accept his place!"

Slag hissed as he transformed into his robot mode, flamethrower humming in anticipation. "Me Slag think you Grimlock need new processor!"

"Stop, Stop, Stop!" Mikaela yelled, bringing attention back to the three. "Can't you all just get along?"

_"I love you, you love me, we're a happy family…"_

Sam tensed at the lyrics coming from Bumblebee, and turned to glare at the Autobot.

"Are you _kidding_ me?"

His only consolation at having to hear 'Barney' was that the Dinobots looked genuinely perplexed.

Mikaela sighed, mentally counted to ten, and faced the Dinobots once again. "Okay, let's start this again. Why are you guys fighting all the time?"

The Dinobots exchanged glances, and looked at her as if she was crazy. Eventually it was Grimlock who replied.

"Because them Dinobots wont do what me Grimlock says!"

"Me Slag better leader!" Slag snapped back, and from the sidelines, Snarl rolled his eyes.

"Me Snarl think you Grimlock and you Slag both idiots!"

"You Snarl got something to say?" Grimlock growled.

Slag however, didn't wait for a warning, and lunged for the Stegosaurus. Swoop 'squeaked' and leapt in to the air just in time to avoid getting crushed between Snarl and the wall as Slag slammed into him. But before Slag could do any more damage, Bumblebee swooped in and yanked the triceratops back.

"Time out!" he yelled. "This is solving nothing!"

"Is only way us Dinobots know!" Slag snapped right back.

Bumblebee sighed, ready to admit defeat, when Sam grinned and snapped his fingers.

"I've got it!"

All eyes were on him at the outburst, and he gave a nervous smile.

"How about an official match or something? Something to choose a leader?"

Mikaela grinned, catching on. "Right, let them fight one more time, closed conditions, and whoever wins gets to be leader of the Dinobots for…a year maybe? Then you could do it again."

Almost to their astonishment, the struggling Slag and hissing Grimlock and Snarl actually stilled to consider this, processors wrapping round the logic.

"So…me Grimlock win, him Slag must obey until next year?" Grimlock clarified. At Sam's nod, Grimlock shifted into his t-rex mode and gave his razor toothed grin.

"Me Grimlock agree!"

Slag nodded. "Me finally put him Grimlock in him Grimlock's place."

Bumblebee looked at the other three Dinobots. "How about you three? Interested."

Snarl gave what could only be described as a snort and looked away, while Swoop and Sludge looked at each other before shaking their heads.

"Me Swoop think it good idea" Swoop replied. "But me Swoop not compete. Me Swoop be destroyed by them."

"Me Sludge not want to be leader" Sludge added. "Sludge not be good leader yet."

Bumblebee looked at him with new respect. "Very honest of you."

Sludge just smirked.

"Me Sludge say not be good leader **yet**. Me Sludge fight them when me Sludge gets stronger."

"Me Swoop will too!"

Mikaela rolled her eyes. "Well, it's a start. What about Snarl?"

The stegosaurus just headed for a corner, transforming so he could sit comfortably.

"Me Snarl will just watch them Dinobots offline each other. Me Snarl not interested in stupid fight."

"Okay then," Bumblebee replied, and gestured to both Grimlock and Slag. "Let's go outside and get this over with."

As the three headed for the exit, followed by the other Dinobots, Sam grinned at Mikaela.

"I'll get the popcorn, you get the camera."

\---

"Bumblebee, what are you doing?"

Bumblebee winced as he heard Optimus's voice, followed closely by a squawk from Ratchet. "Trying to get the Dinobots to get along."

The two Autobots merely looked past the Scout's shoulders to see the two Dinobots ripping into each other, and stared at him disbelievingly.

"This is helping them get along?" Ratchet shrieked.

"Ish a battuhl of reshpec" Sam explained, hampered by the two mouthfuls of popcorn he'd just shoved in his mouth. "Whoevah wihns gesh sho lead da Dinobuhs."

Mikaela cuffed Sam's head. "Try swallowing once in a while. And stop hogging it all."

That explanation being only somewhat understandable, Optimus looked at Bumblebee for a translation, and the yellow bot shrugged.

"Seems most of the fighting between the Dinobots was because they couldn't agree who was the leader. So now Slag and Grimlock are duelling for the right to be leader for a year."

Ratchet nodded in comprehension. "So, in theory, they should stop trying to kill each other."

"In theory," Mikaela piped up.

Suddenly, there was a roar from Grimlock, and all eyes turned back to the fight where the larger bot had grabbed Slag's arm, and threw him over his shoulder. As the triceratops hit the ground, Grimlock sent several heavy punches to the bot's head before grabbing him by his legs and swinging his opponent head-first into a nearby tree. Slag crumpled to the ground, clearly defeated beyond hope.

With the triceratops down, Grimlock shifted into his T-rex form, put one foot on the still bot, and roared in glee.

"Me Grimlock King!"

Swoop, Snarl and Sludge all roared in approval, and Ratchet sighed.

"I assume I'm to fix up Slag now?"

Sam held up a hand as he noticed Slag beginning to twitch. "I'd wait to see if our pal is a good loser."

"Probably about as good a loser as Grimlock is a good winner," Mikaela muttered, watching Grimlock roar again.

However, when the T-rex noticed Slag begin to stir, he took his foot off and stepped back to give the triceratops room to get up.

As he struggled up, Slag glared at Grimlock. "You Grimlock will be lousy leader."

Grimlock glared at him. "You Snarl go back on agreement."

Slag's optics narrowed, before they dropped.

"No…me Slag submit. You Grimlock…leader."

Grimlock grinned, shifted back into robot mode, and offered Slag a hand. Although it clearly pained him to accept, Slag took the hand and pulled himself up.

"But me Slag will take it from you next time!" Slag snapped, and Grimlock hissed.

"You Slag can try" he taunted. "You Slag can try."


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dinobots plus spelling equals not so much fun for Sam.

"This is going to be a disaster."

"Ironhide…"

"It is!" the Topkick snapped. "Do you really think that slimy, squeaking slagger is coming here to evaluate the progress of the situation? He's here to make trouble. End of story."

"He's got a point, Optimus," Ratchet chimed in. "I hate to say it, but I agree with Ironhide. The Dinobots aren't ready for any form of scrutiny, especially not his."

Optimus sighed. "I know, but my hands are tied. The majority of officials who know about the Dinobots are interested in their progress, and Simmons has been talking his case for weeks. There's nothing else we can do to stall them."

Suddenly, the door to the meeting room slid open less than halfway, and four pairs of optics swung round to catch one human slip through the gap, and slam against the door once it closed.

"Hide me, hide me, hide me!" Sam gulped.

"Sam?"

Locking eyes with Bumblebee, the teen bolted towards him and hid behind his leg while keeping an eye on the door.

"What are you doing, human?" Ironhide muttered, shaking his head at the spectacle.

Sam sighed, and Bumblebee helped lift him to the tabletop so the Autobots could see him.

"Well to put it simply," Sam began, "the Dinobots learned how to spell."

At the Autobots' disbelieving stares he elaborated.

"One of them - I'm putting money on Swoop – realised that Grimlock was the only one without an 'S' name. Grimlock insisted this was because Me Gimlock Leader! Me Grimlock different from you Dinobots!'"

Ratchet groaned. "So they're fighting again. I knew this peace was too good to last."

"Oh no," Sam groaned. "They're not fighting. They all decided, unanimously, that if Grimlock was 'special,' they needed a new 'fifth' Dinobot to make up the numbers."

As he tailed off, the unmistakable sound of footsteps could be heard passing the room.

"Sam-bot!" Sludge yelled. "You Sam-bot come be Dinobot!"

Ratchet, respectfully, at least tried to cover up his muffled laughter. Ironhide had no such compunction.

"Oh, shut up!" Sam shouted.

Ironhide just kept snickering. "So 'squishy-bot' got a promotion, hmm?"

"This isn't funny!" Sam wailed. "Have you seen their initiation ritual? I'll be in traction till I'm 60!"

The door burst open, and Snarl poked his head through.

"You squishy! Get back here and shut them Dinobots up!"

Sam squeaked and grabbed Bumblebee's arm in a vice grip.

"Hide me, maim me or run away with me," he whimpered. "But for God's sake don't let them take me!"

\---

Optimus was entirely sure how his Scout did it, but both Bumblebee and Sam got off the base without an entourage. Unfortunately, once the Dinobots got an idea into their heads, there was no stopping them.

Over the next two days, Sam was descended upon whenever he set foot on the base.

Finally, on the day of Reginald Simmons' inspection, Bumblebee snapped when the five behemoths crowded around the human and grabbed Sam himself.

"Enough! Get your own squishy! This one is mine!"

"Hey…" Sam whined.

Grimlock made a lunge for Sam only to have him be snatched away and held close by Bumblebee. It eventually descended into a game of human 'keep-a-way'. When Ironhide and Ratchet walked into the main hanger, Grimlock was mounted on Bumblebee's back, trying to climb over the scout, while Bumblebee held the hand holding Sam as far away as possible, swinging him about to keep the other Dinobots from grabbing him.

"They still haven't given up on this?" Ironhide snapped. "I didn't think their attention spans were that long."

"Buzz-bot should learn to share," Swoop snapped back. "Him Sam-bot be good Dinobot. He strong."

"Beats Autobots' enemy," Grimlock added, still on Bumblebee's back.

"Him fast."

"Avoid us Dinobots."

"Him sarcastic like Snarl, and care for his own," Swoop finished. "Him Sam-bot perfect Dinobot."

"Stop the running commentary and help me!" Sam snapped.

"Oh yes, Prime, I can see you're working wonders with their rehabilitation."

The collective group held back a groan as Simmons walked in, Optimus following, hands clenched and mouth pursed. Clearly he was having as good a day as Sam.

"Grimlock! Get off Bumblebee!"

With Prime in the room, Ironhide took charge and yanked the T-rex off the camaro. Bumblebee immediately took several steps back, still holding Sam.

"Leave Sam alone! He doesn't want to be a Dinobot!"

"Then what you Buzz-bot suggest we Dinobots do?"

Sam just held her head in his hands. "Bumblebee, please let me down. I don't how much more of this I can take."

"Well you'd better get used to it," Ironhide called over. "I don't think they're going to give up unless you give them another option."

Sam groaned, only to have it trail off as an idea - as horrific as it was creative - flashed into his head.

"Hey…Simmons, you helped beat Frenzy at Hoover Damn, and locked up Megatron right?"

Simmons frowned at the boy. "Did these walking toasters hit you too hard? Course I did, you know that."

"So I guess you could be considered strong…"

Ironhide smirked. Oh, how he respected this little squishy now. "And you managed to track us pretty quickly after making planetfall," he added. "So you're fast."

Reginald Simmons was starting to get a bad feeling. "What are you talking about?"

"You're pretty damn obnoxious, too," Sam continued. "But you care for your country, that's why you do the things you do."

The five Dinobots were looking at him strangely now, and the feeling of impending doom grew stronger as Simmons took a step back. Finally, Ironhide slammed the final nail in the coffin.

"Say, didn't you use a flamethrower against Frenzy?"

That did it.

"You Simmons be new Dinobot!" Grimlock yelled, and lunged for agent. Simmons, in return, screamed and bolted back the way he'd just come. Grimlock chased, with Sludge and the others pushing Optimus out of the way to give chase. Simmon's final cry could be heard echoing in the hall.

"I'll get you all for this, you psychopaths!"

Ironhide burst into laughter, while Sam gave a sigh of relief as Bumblebee finally deigned to let him down.

Optimus however, wasn't too pleased with the situation. "That was a rash move, Sam. We are trying to convince Simmons that the Dinobots won't harm people."

"Oh, but it was so worth it," Ironhide chuckled. "The security tapes will be worth their weight in high grade."

"Go and rescue him, Ironhide," Optimus ordered, and then smirked.

"Though if you get lost for a few moments, I won't hold it against you."


End file.
